Brutally Honest Review: I Tried 5 Fair Harbor Swim Shorts So You Don’t Have To

Author: Jake W. | Posted on: July 24, 2025

Let’s skip the fluff. I’m a guy who likes gear that works — shorts that don’t ride up, don’t chafe, and definitely don’t fall apart after two beach weekends. I gave Fair Harbor a shot and picked out five different pairs. Here’s the no-BS review: two flops, three winners, and one surprising favorite.

👎 #1: Shark Pattern Overkill — Loud but Lacking

They looked fun online. Sharks. Waves. Blue. But when I pulled them on, the fabric felt cheap — almost plastic-y. The inner liner? Scratchy as hell. I wore them once, and that was enough. Not worth $60+ for something that feels like a gas station beach souvenir.

Verdict: 2/5 — Cool print, poor execution. Next.

👎 #2: The Island Maze — Confusing Print, Stiff Fit

I really wanted to like these. The dark palm pattern looked slick in the product photo, but IRL it felt like wearing a crossword puzzle. The rope drawstring was thick but awkward to tie. Fit was boxy, not tailored, and the shorts didn’t move well when walking or sitting. Felt like swim armor.

Verdict: 2.5/5 — Style over substance. Hard pass for active wearers.

👍 #3: Jawsome Energy — Surprisingly Solid

This one caught me off guard. The loud graphic screamed “summer dad joke,” but dang — the comfort was there. Lightweight, quick-drying, and zero irritation. If you're heading to a fun beach hangout and don’t take yourself too seriously, this is a vibe.

Verdict: 4/5 — Looks goofy, feels great. Own the joke.

👍 #4: Geometric Chill — Clean Look, Solid Build

This pair felt like the grown-man answer to printed swim trunks. The subtle pattern? Slick. The fit? Not too tight, not too loose. Breathable fabric and legit soft lining. These became my everyday beach go-to. Zero regrets here.

Verdict: 4.5/5 — Clean, mature, and dependable.

🔥 #5: Crab Print Kings — The Unexpected MVP

Okay, I laughed when I saw the print. Crabs? Really? But once I put them on… instant comfort. These things breathe like athletic gear and dry fast after a dunk. Super lightweight and they don’t cling when wet. Also got compliments from total strangers. I didn’t expect that.

Verdict: 5/5 — Fun meets function. Total sleeper hit.

👊 Final Take: Fair Harbor Isn’t Flawless — But It Delivers When It Hits

If you’re looking for swim shorts that actually feel good, skip the flashy “tropical confusion” stuff and go for the simpler builds. Fair Harbor’s strong suit is comfort and eco-conscious quality — but not every pair hits the mark. My picks: the crab print and the geo blue. Avoid the stiff ones unless you enjoy chafing and regret.

🛒 Shop Fair Harbor Men's Picks →